I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
