did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
