Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize