Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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