so that wasnt chicken after all
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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