Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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