There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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