I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
