this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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