hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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