East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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