there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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