I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
