you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
