jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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