How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
