Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.