I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
I am so proud to call you my friend