ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Green mimosas i think yes
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
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I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..