so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.