I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize