After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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