So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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