Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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