Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize