is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
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