dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
