I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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