I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
