He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
