no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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