Don't you send me to vm
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
