Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just want to make out with him forever
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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