great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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