you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
