i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
