Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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