He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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