Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How does one acquire holy water?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
