Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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