I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
