Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
