listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
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absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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