I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
