Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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