Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
