My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
