I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
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I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
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A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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