He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
