is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize