Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
