You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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