Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
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TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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