white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
