Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
