i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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