I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
